I’ve lived half my life as a Muslim. Here are five things I’ve learned. | Facts about the Muslims & the Religion of Islam

This March, God willing, I will celebrate my twenty-fifth shahadaversary, a term coined by some of us converts to mark the day we made the testimony of faith (shahada) and officially embraced Islam. I will also, God willing, turn 50  this year, which will mean that I have spent exactly half of my life practicing Islam.

How did a white girl from Missouri who attended Catholic schools for twelve yearsa white girl from Missouri who attended Catholic schools for twelve years end up a Muslim? The short version of the story is that I found answers in Islam that satisfied the nagging questions I’d had for years: what is the point of our existence? Who is God and what is our relationship to Him? Who is worthy of our worship and obedience?

Although I’m now considered a “veteran Muslim” rather than a “recent convert,”I still have much to learn about my faith. I’m neither a scholar nor a flawless believer. I’ve come to realize that building an Islamic personality and submitting to Allah sincerely and consistently are parts of an ongoing, never-ending journey. Like almost every Muslim, I’ve had spiritual ups and downs over the years, and along the way I’ve learned many valuable lessons. Here are five that I think are worth sharing:

1. Making Allah the number-one priority in our life is the most important and often the most challenging action we take every single day. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “A man would not have attained faith until and unless he loves Allah and His Messenger more than anything else.” (Al-Bukhari).

It can be extremely challenging to keep God and His Messenger first and foremost in our mind, day after day, while surrounded by all of the temptations and false gods of the dunya. When almost everyone around us values material goods, status, money, power, and physical appearance, it can be very easy to get sucked into the prevailing mindset. It’s likely that we will often be tempted to sacrifice our morals to achieve certain worldly goals, but we must remember that any “victory” we win by disobeying our Creator is sure to be a loss, in the end.

On the contrary, Allah promises us that if we give up something for His sake, He will always give us something better in return. I have seen the beautiful proof of this over and over in my own life.

So, whenever you’re in doubt of which path to take, or tempted to compromise your beliefs in the hopes of getting some worldly benefit, stop and think. Will the next step you take bring you closer to your Lord, or farther away? Moving away from Him is never a win, but if you make obeying Him your first priority, you cannot go wrong.

2. Remember, our behavior is the best form of dawah. If we want to show the non-Muslims around us the beauty of our faith, there is no better way than through acts of kindness and integrity. People will judge us and our religion by the way we treat them. Our words, actions, and attitudes will show them what Muslims believe, and therefore we must all strive to make compassion, generosity, trustworthiness, wholesomeness, modesty, self-discipline, and gentleness the hallmarks of our personalities, as these were just some of the beautiful characteristics of our beloved Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).

While we can answer any questions non-Muslims have about our faith, spontaneous lectures or sanctimonious speeches will not likely inspire a willingness to learn about, or love, our deen. However, if we touch their hearts with our beautiful manners and noble actions, their minds are more likely to follow.

3. Pay close attention to your spiritual diet. “You are what you eat” pertains not only to the foods we consume, but also to the other things we feed our bodies and minds. For instance, it might be tempting to binge on the hit TV series that everyone’s talking about, or to read the latest best-selling novel. We might convince ourselves that these particular things aren’t prohibited (haram) – and maybe they technically aren’t, at least not all of the content–but if they make us feel farther from Allah and His religion (deen), then they are spiritually unhealthy.

I have to remind myself of this constantly. An avid reader since childhood, I’ve always enjoyed a wide variety of genres. There are thousands of books I could read, and while some are valuable and might help me learn or improve myself in some way, others are fluff that revolve around themes that are contrary to Islamic beliefs.

I’ve realized that if I want to feel closer to Allah, I need to limit my spiritual diet to materials that support – or at least do not contradict– my faith. Better yet, I should invest my free time in beneficial activities like reading the Quran, seeking out Islamic articles and lectures, and learning about the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his Companions (may Allah be pleased with them).

4. Put people in their proper place in your heart. If we attach our hearts inappropriately to anyone other than Allah, we are doomed to be disappointed. What does this mean? Should we not love or admire anyone?

Of course we should feel love for our spouses, children, parents, family, and friends. Allah wants us to care for each other and He puts mercy in our relationships. But is it possible to love someone too much, or in the wrong way? Yes, if that person overrides our love of Allah.

Ustadha Yasmin Mogahed writes:

 “If there is anything—or anyone—that losing would absolutely break us, we have a false attachment. False attachments are things that we fear losing almost to a pathological extent. It is something that if we even sense is drifting away, we will desperately pursue. We chase it because losing an object of attachment causes complete devastation, and the severity of that devastation is proportional to the degree of attachment. These attachments can be to money, our belongings, other people, an idea, physical pleasure, a drug, status symbols, our careers, our image, how others view us, our physical appearance or beauty, the way we dress or appear to others, our degrees, our job titles, our sense of control, or our own intelligence and rationality. But until we can break these false attachments, we cannot empty the vessel of our heart. And if we do not empty that vessel, we cannot truly fill it with Allah.”

In other words, we need to remember that everything and everyone belongs to Allah. He is superior to us all, and nothing in this world (dunya) is perfect or eternal. People will disappoint us. Loved ones will die. Our belongings will come and go. It is the nature of this worldly life. If we keep this in mind, it will be easier to maintain a proper balance in our hearts.

5. Beware of saying, “I would never…” or “my child would never…” We humans can become complacent and even arrogant, especially in times of ease and strong iman. Some of us become judgemental of our brothers and sisters in faith. We see someone doing something un-Islamic and think to ourselves (or even say aloud), condescending things like, “I would never stop wearing hijab,” or “My child would never stop praying,” or “My family would never break ties with each other.”

Guess what? We will all have highs and lows in our faith (iman) in our faith (iman). We are also vulnerable to issues beyond our control, like mental health problems, extreme duress, or even a crisis of faith. What seems unfathomable to you one year (like, say, giving up hijab) might seem tempting the next, given different circumstances. What if you suddenly felt targeted because of your Islamic wardrobe? What if you felt unsafe? Can we ever really say we would never compromise our beliefs? Should we ever judge another person, not knowing his or her life circumstances and reasons?

Even our beloved Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) who was the best Muslim ever, constantly prayed for steadfastness of faith.

Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) would often say: “O Turner of the hearts, make my heart firm upon Your religion.” I said: “O Messenger of Allah, we have believed in you and what you have come with. Do you fear for us?” He said: “Yes! Indeed, the hearts are between two of the Fingers of Allah and He turns them as He wishes.”

I’ve learned that I should take time every single day to pray for Allah’s guidance for me and my loved ones. None of us should become arrogant, thinking we and our family are superior, beyond reproach, or immune to temptation. We must remember that guidance and strong iman are gifts from our Lord, who holds our hearts between His fingers. We cannot take credit for our success and can only strive to do our best in each moment. In a nutshell: a love of Islam is a wonderful blessing that should not be taken for granted.

I hope these lessons will be useful to fellow Muslims, whether they are new to the faith, or more experienced than I. May Allah accept our efforts to obey Him, keep our hearts firm upon His deen, and forgive our shortcomings. Ameen.

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